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Author • Bakhita

"When the going gets tough and the tough gets going, tell me baby will you stay or will you run away?"

This is the lyrics to the song called Ejika by Denike. It is a song I repeatedly listen to, due to it's lyrics; and the questions asked. 

Below are the questions generated from the songs, I believe we all should ask ourselves:

"Will you be there for your friends and even random people when the going gets tough or will you run away? Have I been there for them or did I disappear when they needed me? Have I always considered myself above others? Have I been understanding or have I been overly sensitive to situations and the pains of others? 


True friendship is determined by the ability of the two parties to stick together in the trying and difficult times and work things out regardless of what happens. Recently, a friend said something to me and it goes this "10 years is a decade; 100 years is a century and forever is 3 months." Meaning that we make so many promises when we meet people newly. Promises about being there for them and standing by them through thick and thin but most times, time reveals the real truth and the truth is, these promises are lies.

Friendship is two committed people who are willing to work things out and work things out means setting aside ego, pride and every other vice just to give the bond a strong foundation and stand. It is not about making promises rather, it is about keeping them till death. Friendship is not something we get into today and rush out of tomorrow. Every great relationship today did not just happen; it is as a result of dedication and total commitment. Of course there were fights; fights that they thought they were never going to get back together but hey, they did get back, even stringy. Fights and arguments are meant to make the bond stronger but the bond can only become stronger when we make efforts to work on things.

Dialogue is fundamental in relationships; every relationship. To make things better, we must learn to talk about things. Set aside the pride and ego and talk about things. Let the pains, anger and disagreements out. One of the greatest dangers and killer of relationship is "ASSUMPTION". Assuming things no matter how small is an automatic way to murder your friendship with anyone including family. "Oh, he is doing fine. Oh, he does not want me again". Did the person open his/her mouth to say it? You are still expected to ask questions even when their attitudes spell it out. Asking questions brings about clarity and clarity helps us move forward. It is okay if they open their mouths to say they do not want you anymore. At least you know you are not working based on assumptions.

Friendship is a two way thing; it takes two parties to make a bond work. A one sided friendship is really draining and I do not wish it for anyone. A relationship where you are the only one putting all the energy is bad for your mental health and will drain all the positive energy you have. Run far away from it because it might just be the end of you. If you are not interested in being friends with anyone it is better to tell them early and not let them waste their energy trying to do things for you. Do not be a parasite who only drains and draws other people's energy without reciprocating it. 

Friendship is a really beautiful and honourable but only when you have the right kind of friends. Try being a good friend before looking for good friends. Give what you want given back to you. Return the same energy and even better and higher. Remove assumptions from every of your relationship or friendship and be mature to openly talk about things. I wish you a happy friendship journey with whoever it is. Be committed to growth and render help to each other. Do not be jealous and do not hoard opportunities.



© 2021 Oche Maria Faustina. All Rights Reserved

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  1. Hmm mm mm mm🤔
    O deep
    More inspiration 😍

  2. This is wow Maria 😚😚😚😚🤗. You're getting there sis.

  3. Hmmmm...deep words for the wise. Carefully written to hit the bull's eye.

    I love the explicit intro. "Ejika" by "Denike" actually caught my attention and held it till I got to the end of the article.

    Omoooooooooooooooor there are levels to thisssssss.

    A great prolific writer. An hidden gem.


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