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EXPECTATIONS, Readersketch expectation,

Humans and expectations are 5&6. The average human being has what he wants the other person to do for him regardless of whether it is comfortable for the person or not. It is either from the spouse, friend, colleague or people he or she has helped and the children are not exempted from this circle at all. We set heights which people must attain or get to; not minding their pain or whatever they might be going through; it is always about us. Always about me and I. 

Our lives are shaped by our expectations towards others and at the end of the day we live miserable and dejected lives. We are frustrated and worried about whether they will live up to our expectations or fail us. We are so driven by our expectations that some of us go out of our way to do certain things for others or for that particular person because we feel they might or will love us more if we do those things or please them. Expectations drive us to do most if not all the things we do. Every human being has expectations and it is fine to have expectations but setting high and unnecessary expectations is where the problem comes in. Setting expectations that even you yourself cannot get to is bad and unfair towards the other person.  

Expectations by Bakhita Readersketch

What defines the lives of most humans is the one lettered word "I" and this letter stands for our dreams, goals and expectations towards others. It stands for the things that cause us so much unnecessary pain and misery. So much frustration and dejection. It stands for the reasons why most of us have cut short our relationships with family, friends and other people. This letter clouds our sense of reasoning and makes us become so insensitive to the pains and plight of those we call our friends and dear ones. Expectations lead to pain and heartache and give you sleepless nights because you will always be checking to see if the person has done as you want or not. 

As earlier said, some expectations are very realistic and nice but they must have measures. Expecting your dear ones to be there for you in your moments of pain, brokenness and misery is fine but what do you do when they fail? Expecting your husband or wife to treat you with love and respect is nice and should be expected but what will you do when they do not? Will you kill them or separate them?

Always remember humans will always be humans when setting expectations. And as humans, they change and evolve. They may not be what you knew yesterday either; change, they say, is constant; and human nature is dynamic and susceptible to change. Always be prepared to see your expectations fail and not met. Always make up your mind for when your spouse or partner or colleague does not meet up your expectations. Have a plan B in your mind so that when they do fail, you will have something else to fall back on. 

One of the biggest causes of sadness, depression and heartache is expectations. We set our hearts on that person and when they fail us, we become sad and from sadness, withdrawal sets in and from withdrawal, depression becomes the next door to open; I say this because it is a stage that I am gradually coming from. Tailor your expectations. Be considerate of the other person(s) and always know that without them the world will still keep moving.

The best medicine you can give yourself is to not have expectations. Cut them out. Let everything you do, be for humanity and not because you expect something back in return. Do it because it makes you joyful, not because you want to satisfy your ego. The negative effects of expectations are high and very grave. Expectations do not just limit or hinder you but at the same time, separate you from being happy and also causes strain in your relationships because you will always be angry and upset whenever the expectations are not met. 

To live a life of Joy and cheerfulness, cleanse your heart of expectations today and choose to be free. Begin to give instead of receiving all the time. Give to other people from the little you have and let the giving be out of happiness and not out of expectations for returns or rewards. And always remember that it is always more rewarding to give than to receive. Let your life reflect freedom by doing away with expectations because through expectations, other people are able to control our emotions.


© 2021 Oche Maria Faustina. All Rights Reserved

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