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We're All Our Own Worst Critics

AuthorMiwa
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Evolutionary psychologists have studied our natural "negativity bias"; which instinct in us makes negative experiences seem more significant than they really are. In other words, we have evolved to give more weight to our flaws, mistakes and shortcomings than to our successes.

The nature and degree to which we interact with others is strongly influenced by these "our perceived selves"- regardless of their accuracy. Our perceived selves represent one of the most important foundations on which our interpersonal behaviour rests. Thus, we may be our most severe critic. While everyone's self-esteem is vulnerable to other people who may openly criticise them, ridicule them, or point out their flaws; an even greater threat to each person's self-esteem lurks within.

As observers of our own behaviours, thoughts and feelings, we not only register these phenomena said to us in our consciousness but also pass judgements on them, deciding what to think and interprete these phenomena as to ourselves.

When we perceive ourselves mercilessly, when we find ourselves making an error, judging ourselves unfairly, labelling ourselves awkward, unlovable, obnoxious, shy, breaking our most sacred promise, forgetting what you should remember, it becomes more and more difficult to believe that others could possibly see us in a positive light.
Self-criticism takes a toll on our minds and bodies; we behave in ways we regret and depression starts.

In a nutshell, "to have low self-esteem is to live a life of misery."


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We're All Our Own Worst Critics.

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